Are You an Authentic Person?

Stephen Hopson is guest blogging for Phil today.

Seth Godin wrote an interesting article, The Scarcity Shortage, where he wrote in part, “So what’s scarce now? Respect. Honesty. Good judgment. Long-term relationships that lead to trust.”

I’d like to add to that, “authenticity and integrity.”

A person who genuinely cares about the needs and wants of others are going to increase their “likeability factor” several notches higher. It is this person who will succeed because they recognize that it is human nature to feel good when someone else is genuinely interested in them first.

There’s nothing wrong with getting what you want. In fact, ever since you were born, you’ve been in a perpetual state of wanting something for yourself. It’s human nature but the secret is giving what others want FIRST before you get yours. And in my view, authentic people know exactly how to do that.

Just what constitutes an “authentic person”?  It is someone who:

1. Has "Make It Great!" Listening Skills: Everyone, regardless of who they are, wants to be acknowledged, appreciated and loved. When you are engaged in a conversation with someone, are you truly focusing 100% of your attention on what that person is saying? Or is your brain formulating something to say at the next available opportunity?  Are your eyes constantly roaming the room, wondering who else just walked in? An authentic person’s attention is razor sharp, making the other person feel like the most important person in the world.

2. Treats Others Fairly: When carrying out your role, whether it be a mother, business executive, pilot, waitress, teacher or coach, to name a few, you are always dealing with other people. The biggest secret is how you treat them. Do you treat others with respect or are you condescending, especially if they screwed up?

I once read a very interesting account of something that happened to famed aerobatic air show pilot, Bob Hoover. He was well known for purposefully shutting down both engines of his plane in various configurations and heights, always landing safely.

One day he was performing at an airshow when 300 feet above the ground, both engines unexpectedly quit. He immediately knew the plane had been misfueled and who had done it. Upon finding the quivering line boy, what did Bob Hoover do? In the eyes of everyone else, he had every right to angrily eschew the line boy because it could have cost his life. Instead, he put his arms around the tear streaked kid and said, “To show you I’m sure you’ll never do this again, I want you to service my F-51 tomorrow.”

Do you think the line boy forever learned his lesson?  You decide.

3. Has Integrity: Everyone wants something. But authentic people are conscious of the operative watchword: integrity. They will do the ethical thing even if it means a loss of personal benefits for themselves.

Consider a doctor at a major hospital who advises the parent of a small boy (I saw this in a movie but can’t remember the name of it), to have major, life-threatening surgery. After much research, the mother learned of a non-invasive treatment available at another hospital several miles away and vigorously sought for his release. The doctor flat out refused, telling the mother she had to go through several legal hurdles for that to happen. One of them involved bringing in another qualified physician from the outside to come in and sign a written statement testifying to the validity of the other treatment. Even though the mother satisfied that requirement, the treating physician fought like crazy to keep the boy there. Eventually, he relented. It turned out that the alternative treatment ended up saving the boy’s life! An authentic doctor would have seen that possibility rather than blindly serving his hospital’s and ultimately his own needs.

4. Has the Ability to Communicate: Growing up deaf made me acutely aware of the importance of communication. I was often left out because I was not always in the loop. This often put me in a position to being the last to learn about something everyone else already knew about. Not a good feeling. Because of that, I grew up very aware of how others might feel in a similar situation.  Business leaders who conscientiously communicate in the open, especially when there is a lot of uncertainty hovering over the future of their employees, end up earning tremendous amount of trust. Rather than hiding behind the cloak of their boardrooms, they step up to the plate and keep people informed as much as possible. Authentic people make themselves valuable because they care enough to keep others in the loop by communicating.

5. Is Willing to Show Transparency: Public speakers who aren’t afraid to stand up on stage and speak from the heart, showing their childlike enthusiasm rather than presenting themselves as flawless packages, often win the hearts of their audiences.

Why?

Because it makes them real, just like them. Authentic speakers go into a speaking engagement with the attitude of “I am grateful all these people are spending time with me and I will give them a reason to laugh, cry and otherwise enjoy themselves without worrying how I look.”

Inauthentic speakers will say, “Well, there’s a bunch of jerks out there, I’ll just get in there, get it over with and fool them senselessly with my appearance of great success.” People who are willing to be transparent win the love and respect of others.

Food for thought: Authentic people make more friends in two weeks by becoming interested in other people than in 2 months by trying to get other people interested in them!

Stephen J. Hopson is a former award-winning Wall Street stockbroker turned motivational speaker, author and the first deaf pilot in the world (yes, you read that right) to earn an instrument rating in 2006.  This is a rating that allows him to fly as pilot in command through "bad" weather where radio use is actually required.  He recently moved his "Adversity University" blog from Blogger to Wordpress at www.adversityuniversityblog.com     If you'd like to see him in action as a speaker, you could visit his professional speaking website at www.sjhopson.com

Comments

[Phil Gerbyshak]

Powerful reminder Stephen, especially the food for thought: "Authentic people make more friends in two weeks by becoming interested in other people than in 2 months by trying to get other people interested in them!"

I'd challenge folks to think about you're going to be interested today, and then learn as much as you can about them.

Thanks for the great article!

[Stephen Hopson]

Phil:

Thanks for the "Make it Great!" compliment. It's an honor to guest blog for you this month. :)

Stephen

[Harold Shinsato]

Stephen, thank you, that was a powerful bit of writing. The story of Bob Hoover and the quivering line boy was especially moving. How can I be more like Bob Hoover when my "people" make mistakes? It's a great question for me to think about. Your thought food was very nourishing, thank you for that idea that authentic people interested in others make more friends by an order of magnitude than people who try to be interesting. And thank you Phil for letting Stephen post to your always excellent blog.

[Stephen Hopson]

Harold:

The fact that you took time out of your busy day to say hello and share your heartfelt thoughts and comments about the above article was greatly appreciated!

It's been a priviledge to guest blog for Phil this month. I've enjoyed meeting new people in this way. So thanks again for letting me know that the article impacted you in a positive, uplifting way. Comments like yours let me know I'm on track with my intentions of making a difference, which makes me feel great!

Stephen