How to Increase Your Likeability Factor

Stephen Hopson is guest blogging for Phil today.

Not too long ago, I gave a presentation to members of the Beachwood Chamber of Commerce (Ohio) where I shared the “That’s Right, Stephen!” story. It was during the high energy question and answer session where I got inspired to write this article. 

Tim Saunders, a former Yahoo executive and popular business speaker, made “The Likeability Factor” a household phrase with his best-selling book of the same title. I haven’t read it but I heard it was a good read.

While your expertise certainly helps, that’s not why people ultimately do business with you. All the advertising in the world might get you some attention in the beginning but that's not it.

What makes you stand out is your likeability factor.

People do business with you because they like you. How you relate to others is now more important then ever. If you exude a personality that exhibits any degree of the likeability factor, they will want to work with you not necessarily because your products and services are any more colorful, functional or superior (although you certainly hope they are!). It’s not what you know but how much people like you.

Are you an upbeat individual with a firm handshake and a genuine smile like Phil's? Look at his photo.  Would you do business with him?  Of course!  He emits positive energy everywhere he goes.

Are you someone who’s articulate, a good listener and one who shows empathy for others? Then people will want to do business with you because they are buying YOU. They want a bit of that essence you exude and take a little piece of you home with them.

Look at what happened with Bill Gates. He dropped out of Harvard to start Microsoft with buddy Paul Allen. At one point, IBM asked them to create some kind of DOS program. Do you think IBM was asking them to do it because of their “expertise”? They were two young geeks at the time for goodness sake! They actually had no clue on how to do it but IBM commissioned them to create the program anyway because their likeability factor was high. The rest is history.

Here’s my take on what makes your likeability factor go up:

1. You are the real deal. You’re more willing than most to show the vulnerable side of you because you have no need to provide layers of insulation, pretending that you "have it all.”

2. Your emotional intelligence is very high. You’re great at validating other people’s feelings and emotions.

3. People know where you stand because you are a conscientious communicator. You keep them informed, even when the news is bad or when you stumble and fall.

4. You have excellent listening skills. You're entirely in the moment, focused 100% on the other person.

5. You are comfortable in your own skin, giving others permission to be comfortable with you. For example, as a deaf person, I know I sound different when I talk (you can see for yourself by visiting my speaking website).  But because I'm willing to poke fun at myself and be cool with who I am, then it's okay for them too. 

6. You give off a sense of trustworthiness.  It's just there.  People can sense it.

If you have the likeability factor, you’ll have no trouble doing brisk business. People will be drawn to you like a magnet because you are perceived to be a winner. They end up becoming your human advertisers, spreading the word about you because your likeability factor is quite high.

How cool is that?!?

Food for thought: How is your likeability factor today?

Stephen J. Hopson is a former award-winning Wall Street stockbroker turned motivational speaker, author and the first deaf pilot in the world to earn an instrument rating in 2006. This is a rating that allows him to fly as pilot in command through "bad" weather where radio use is actually required. He recently moved his "Adversity University" blog from Blogger to Wordpress at www.adversityuniversityblog.com If you'd like to see him in action as a speaker, you could visit his professional speaking website at www.sjhopson.com

Comments

[Benjamin Bach]

I highly reccomend Tim's book the Likeability Factor. I actually quoted Tim this morning in a talk I gave!

Great article Stephen!

[Phil Gerbyshak]

What an excellent reminder Stephen! It is ALL ABOUT how much we like folks, isn't it?

And you listed some great tips, none more powerful than #1: Be the real deal! You sir are the REAL DEAL!

Thanks for sharing this. Well done!

[Stephen Hopson]

Ben:

Thanks for the heads up on Tim's book. I'll put that on my list of books I want to buy!

How did your talk go? What group did you speak to?

You know something? You've been on my mind a lot lately. One of my dreams is to build wealth through real estate. It's been on my mind almost every day lately. It's a goal of mine to build a RE portfolio and turn into one of many multiple income streams. I've been reading your blog a lot lately so I'm glad we've made a connection. We'll be talking down the road about this.

Meanwhile, I'm glad you liked today's article. Thanks for commenting.

Stephen

[Stephen Hopson]

Hey Phil:

I'm glad you also enjoyed today's post! Indeed, it's always good to remind ourselves of the likeability factor. Even I have to re-read some of my writings to get into the groove when I sometimes fall out of alignment.

Stephen

[Greg Butler]

This was very helpful. Sometimes I forget to smile or give a warm handshake or hug. But I think the main key to being liked by people is to like people. Keeping your energy high with enthusiasm should keep the connections in tact. But your post was a great reminder.

[Stephen Hopson]

Greg:

I'm glad this article gave you a couple of reminders for your benefit! Thanks for letting me know it was of help to you.

Have a great beginning of the week.

Stephen